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    The Hard Writing Course - why we are different

   Some creative writing courses seek to reassure the students, regardless of their abilities. Tutors are told to be gentle and complimentary. I know this because, by way of research, I applied to join two of the most expensive distance-learning schools as a tutor.
    One accepted me straightaway and sent me several students' details, but I resigned as soon as I saw the course and worked out the pay rate. A typical exercise would ask you to go to your bedroom window with your notebook, write down what you saw, and compose a poem about it. You'd send it to your tutor who, overwhelmed and near suicidal in a sea of fifth-rate poetry, would try to say nice things to you and be paid about half the minimum wage to do so.
    Of course, if the tutor spent much less time on your work, the hourly rate would improve. Where, I ask, will that get you as an aspiring writer?
    The next writing school, also offering very poor pay, wanted me to be a tutor but asked me first, as a test, to do some sample criticism of an exercise. I was, I thought, fairly kindly in my appraisal of the work of a student who was trying her best but would clearly never be a writer. I was told I was far too harsh. Such criticism would distress the student, who would leave the course and not pay any more instalments for tuition. This is no good, I thought. So I devised The Hard Writing Course.

(more details)

    The Hard Writing Course. That's the way to do it.

    My idea is that when you get to the end of the course, in six months' time (minimum - will probably take longer), you will be much better equipped to be a writer. Or, you may have concluded that your writing is for fun only. I might say that if you complete the course with good reports from me, you should indeed have a go. The course consists of six projects. We don't have exercises. Each project is based on something from real life - incidents, persons, circumstances, a time and a place, all from reality. You will be supplied with sufficient information to enable further research, and with some suggestions on how you might go about the job.
    The objective is to make your fiction writing believable, your non-fiction writing enjoyable, and all your writing good. I am not going to sprinkle oofle dust on you and turn you into Catherine Cookson, J R R Tolkein, J K Rowling or, for that matter, Dan Archer and Jeffrey Brown. What I hope to do is equip you with knowledge, discipline and tools of the trade.

    Benefits - what you can expect from me.
    Rules - what I expect from you.
    You will be expected to return your work on time - usually in two or three weeks - by Word email attachment. The work will be prose, in a specified form such as a short story of a certain number of words, a report in a quality newspaper, the opening chapter of a book, or something similar. On time, usually within a few days, you will receive from me two reports.
    One will be a copy edit. This is not a criticism of quality but a straightforward edit as you would get from the old style of newspaper sub or an experienced and strict book editor, working to standard publishing conventions of grammar, punctuation, spelling and use of words. Some creative writing courses say that this doesn't matter. All that matters is your creative light shining in the darkness. Bollocks.
    The second report will be constructive criticism of your work from the point of view of a publisher. This elusive being, A Publisher, is - as far as you are concerned - an assistant features editor on a magazine, a literary agent's reader, or an editor in an independent publisher's submissions department. These people all have far too much work to look at. They are all hoping to be impressed, but they are expecting not to be.
    With both reports before you, there will be a choice. You can rework the project and send it in again, and I will say what I think. Or you can absorb the lessons learned and go on to the next project.
    Before you start the third project, you will receive a free copy as a PDF file of Budding Bestseller by Neil Gee, which will be a big help to you for the rest of the course.

Do you want to do it?
To enroll, you need to answer in the affirmative all the following questions.
1. Is English your first language or, if not, is your English to that standard?
2. Are you well practised with the internet?
3. Are you familiar with the resources of your local library, or prepared to become so?
4. Do you own a good dictionary, or will you be buying one shortly?
5. Can you organise your time to keep pace with the demands of the course?
6. Do you promise not to cry, scream, shout, send abusive emails or otherwise throw wobblies when your work is criticised?
7. Are you willing to pay £300 for the whole course, or £110 for the first two projects with the option of going on to projects 3 - 6 at £200?

If you're happy with all of that, go to the Infinity Junction on-line sales system to see if places on the course are available at the moment. If not, please try again in a week or two.
I look forward to hearing from you and hope we can work well together.
Yours,
Gordon Thorburn