The Great Lawyer's Office In The Sky
   Infinity Junction does not often comment on individual matters, but... well Jacko's gone. Do you know some Bas-t-illigimate-person nicked my Best Of CD, that worries me more than his passing. Now ain't I B-you-know-what!

Footballers Murder 28 Shock Horror Disastrophy
   According to subtitles on BBC news, Real Madrid were resposible for to 1998 Omagh bomb. (Real IRA... Ed.) They also claim NHS bar staff are going to be squeezed. (NHS budget... Ed.)

Sigh
   An incredible amount of fuss has been made in the UK media over the last couple of weeks about 'corruption' in political circles. What, is the press blind or something? Everybody knows politicians are only in it for themselves, so is it such a surprise we've seen absurd expenses claims? Sack the lot of 'em, how about a dictatorship instead.
   Second thoughts- Saddam, Hitler, Kim, European Commission... mmm, surely there must be a better way... anyone?

Drooping Assets
   A Scottish 'Bra Boss' (lingerie tycoon Michelle Mone) has ceased 'support' for Labour in protest at the 50p new top tax rate. (Only 50p, Wilson tried 60p.) Labour's top women might soon be feeling the loss, even 'Moan' about it. Heave ho! 'Over my shoulder goes one care' as the song went. So if you see large wobbly shoulders in Parliament, you'll know why.

Fangs A Lot
   Another great headline- 'Man Bites Snake.' (True; Kenya, a three hour battle with a large python ended in the victim biting the snake's tail.)

Chicken Run
   What a headline- 'Explosion At Pie Factory.' ('Uddersfax, Yorkshire, UK.) Sounds like news of Mrs Tweedy's come-uppance has finally reached Fleet Street.

TVs At Rest
   So Jade's gone; now what will the gutter press latch onto? Once described by one J. Clarkson on BBC TV's Top Gear as 'a pig-faced, racist waste of guts and blood,' she will not be sadly missed at Infinity Junction, although the manner and age of her demise is regrettable.
   What, though, is surprising is that Ms Goody should have risen so far with her obnoxious ways and so little intelligence. Maybe it has something to do with big tits.

University Challenge
      There was a young lady called Trimble
      Whose brain was exceedingly nimble
      Her team were bereft
      As one had left
      Which seems considerably dim ble
(Corpus Christi win disallowed, UK, Ed.)

Obvious
   Wales News- "Mr (X) had lost a leg and that effected his mobility."

Octopuslets
   An unusual news item from USA was greeted by one Nesstown local as: "Did you Hear? An American woman has given birth to a live octopus!"

Kiss Of Death? - S.t.O.
   'Mandy' (Lord Mandleson), UK something or other to do with business minister, has said: 'The UK car industry is not a lame duck.' He really shouldn't have said that, for goodness sakes, disaster area Mandy of all people. Buy a Jaguar or Land Rover while you still can.
(I did, third hand of course, how else could you afford a Jag. Damn good it is too. Ed.)

BBC Blue Bias
   What is the BBC, our most prestigious and revered news organisation, doing running an absolute non-story at number one slot in peak viewing? 'Green shoots' comment on the economy as a first news item- (green shoots of recovery, which of course the Tory opposition does not want to see before an election,)- what's the 'news' in that, zilch. What the hell should spark such an over-reaction? Answer; the Tory spin machine and internal bias. Shame on you Beeb.

Well Hung ?
   Only the first of Jan 09 and already the political leakages are appearing. Apparently Brown-Gordon expects the Conservative surge to peter out somewhat and is now organising secret talks with the Lib-Dems, expecting either a hung paliament or, less likely, a coalition after the next election. Hum, coalitions in the UK have a bad history. Now hung parliament... that has a ring to it! Fun, fun, fun.

Predictions for 2009, made in 2008- this year attributed to Infinity Junction's backroom boffin N.M.L.G. ©
Jan 2009- Obama The Unfortunate inherits ex President Thickett's financial crisis and starts to sack public servants to save cash, starting with the lower paid, less attractive jobs to save redundancy payments. Suddenly Obama's bin's laden.
Feb- Osama bin Laden makes a surprise guest appearance on Al Jazeera's late night chat show from Oman. Thickett orders the bombers in, forgetting he's no longer in charge. However the air force like his suggestion and take off to flatten the TV station.
March-Obama discovers the bomb plot and orders the bombers to abort bombing Osama in Oman. Thwarted over Osama, the miltary ponder about Obama as an alternative.
April- Retired President Thickett visits Omaha to speak to the new president. Obama's not in Omaha, he's seeking parly with Osama in Oman. (How long can this go on- Ed?)
May- Over and over, in Omaha, overseas in Oman and even Osaka, Obama, seeks Osama. Osama escapes to Alaska under the adopted name of Ottoman.
June- Obama's over-laden bin is finally emptied by immigrant labour from Alaska. Osama bin Laden rifles Obama's laden bin.
July- Osama Ottoman retreats via Oman to Pakistan and adopts bin Laden again. Obama's bin adopts a laden altitude again. (Oh hell! Ed.)
Aug- Brown-Gordon is invited to Obama's holiday retreat over near Omaha. Bin Laden in his retreat at altitude is invited to retreat by The Afghan Rifles and Pakistani troops. Osama retreats to Oman and is treated as Ottoman out of obscurity.
Sept- Obama's quest for Osama abandoned by minions as Osama obfuscates all overt indications.
Oct- 'New Osama' invented by minions in fear of unemployment. Absence of affinities leads minions from Omaha to Osaka and the honoured Electric Lookalikes works, most famous for robot Santas.
Nov- At his retreat near Omaha, Obama orders the tallest Christmas tree and decorations imaginable.
Dec- Oh my, behold Obama's Osama Santa from Osaka to Omaha, at altitude overtly oscillating, orating 'oh, ho, ho, ho.' (Oh, no, oh no. Ed. Oh, happy Christmas 2009.)