2008 Predictions ... ? - © copyright Infinity Junction November 2007
December 2007- indecision by previous governments, too afraid of public backlash, now prove a mistake as there is not enough power left from aging and decrepit nuclear power stations to go round. New rules say that all strings of Christmas lighting can only be switched on on alternate days. Major air traffic diversions cause paralysis at airports on alternate nights as rules on outdoor strips of lights are enforced.
January 2008- with Christmas over, the government in England relaxes rules on runway lights. In mainland Europe however the Russians are up to their usual winter tricks of restricting gas supplies to push up prices and to persuade Euro-parliament to put pressure on President Thickett to abandon his anti Iranian missile sheild. It is only resolved when so few flights run that there is surplus fuel.
February- floods and incredibly freezing cold weather, caused by global warming, turn parts of England into an ice rink. With such a large flat, hard area, the government orders the building of a million new homes on it, mostly for immigrants and Hertfordshirodians.*
March- equinox gales flatten an entire wind farm sending the national grid into chaos. Oil prices reach a record high of 200$ a barrel as the hurricane season starts even earlier than the doom and gloom merchants had predicted. Brown-Gordon orders three new nuclear power stations on the quiet, to be disguised as failed asylum removal centres. He also orders Hertfordshire to be razed* so that biofuel crops can be grown. No-one outside Hertfordshire notices.
April- Professor Colin Longhair of Euro-Up-There, claims that Beagle 2, the lost Mars lander, has been spotted on the moon, fully functioning but beaming signals to Mars, not Earth. Meanwhile rising temperatures in the northern hemisphere on earth, melt a certain ice rink, leaving hundreds of Polish builders stranded.
May- UK government realizes that it yet again underestimated immigration as a local census in Norfolk finds half the population there only speaks Polish. Polish politicians, fed up at not being able to find a competent plumber, ask for their people back... please... pretty please.
June- apathy in local government elections reaches new heights when only Poles can be bothered to vote in numbers and Norfolk gains its first non-English speaking councillors.
July- Astronomers give up their detailed scrutiny of the moon when it's realised Prof Longhair's claim was an April fool joke. In fact Beagle 2 landed in Milton Keynes but people thought it was a rubbish bin; it was hidden under a mound of litter until razed on Brown-Gordon's orders.
August- Another dry summer and an early start to the hurricane season causing gales on this side of the Atlantic sees dust storms in southern England and muddy rain in Scotland as a consequence. Southern Europe by contrast has fewer forest fires than ever because most were burned down in 2007.
September- schools start a new year but it is discovered half the children in Norfolk only speak Polish. The government starts a new teacher recruitment drive. Polish politicians start to get really peeved and threaten to come over here too.
October- Osama bin Laden narrowly escapes arrest in Poland where he is seeking to recruit trained Chechen rebel terrorists who have been attracted to Poland by abundant job vacancies. A new brand of British biofuel goes on sale as a trial, it called Herf after its place of origin.
November- new prime minister RaÞstychyk Kytykchkznç makes his first front bench speech... in Polish. The Speaker of the house, Bzrtdchyg Brnmchzk, reprimands him and asks him in English and Polish to speak Polish in English. He later introduces a law allowing all East Europeans into Britain, backed by his Polish majority in parliament.
December- a snap election is called when new prime minister Romaniu Bucharesti is accused of bribery, intimidation and corruption. London police however, only fluent in English and Polish, can't interview him until 2009.

That's all so far