"Do we have a map of the Dung Jungle?" Zoo Owner asked.
   "Zoo map, yes," replied Head Keeper, "jungle forest's a bit vague though."
   Zoo Owner picked up the large paper sheet, his brow furrowed. "Its plain green, there's no detail at all."
   "That's what the jungle forest is from the air."
   "Useless, leave that here, I'll get a compass. If the Spartown Army arrive, tell them where we are and not to go in unescorted."

   "Cynthia, what exactly are we supposed to do here?"
   "I'll ask Monty... Oh, he's gone. Now that's not right."
   "This place gives me the creeps," photographer Phil pronounced.
   Botanist Bill spotted an unusual flower. As he touched it, fragrance became more intense. "Ah this must be the rumoured Nesstown rose, its not a rose at all you know, it's... er... I just can't remember."
   "Give us a song Nukes, cheer us up in this damp dump."
   The Nukeleles gathered together. "I can't remember any songs," Nichola Nuke announced, "How curious."
   "Anything will do," Celia said in true Girl Guide mode, not that she'd been a member for a long time.
   Six ukeleles started together all playing different notes at different speeds. Birds above them squawked in alarm, raining white liquid poo upon the place below. One of Nesstown Dung Jungle's big secrets had been discovered, but they'd never remember what it was.

   Mad Monty Lord Mad, made uphill as the going seemed to get better that way. Now being mad in this case was actually an advantage because he had far fewer marbles to lose to Dung Jungle madness. He still knew there was a valuable secret to be found and valuable expenses to be claimed from Monantos.
   "Hello, who are you?" asked ex PM Tony who'd been in there since book 4.
   "I'm Monty, who are you?"
   "I haven't a clue, isn't that funny, ha, ha."
   "Have you found anything valuable in here?"
   "I don't think so, oh just a helicopter in a tree."
   "Where?"
   "I haven't a clue, isn't that funny, ha, ha."

   Zoo Owner and Head keeper were on their way to the Dung Jungle entrance when the call came from the office. "Fluffy's here. I'll put him on."
   "Spartown Army are currently at the stables, short delay expected."
   "Stables, why stables?"
   "They're eating."
   "They were eating at Lees Lane reservoir, what's this about, why does it take so long?"
   "Spartown diet, very healthy, very varied, lots of fibre."
   "They're not eating hay there are they?"
   "They might be, I didn't ask."

   The P.M. looked at his old advisor with a very worried expression. "How can they just disappear?"
   "People do, Tony, Sherry, Thickett, they're supposed to be still in there."
   "Well I'm not going."
   "Something has to be done!"
   "Who have we got that's expendable?"
   They looked at each other, both eyes lit up at the same time. The chorus was "Maggie!"

   "I'll help you into your wheelchair Mrs. T." the kind young nurse said.
   "Are we going somewhere?"
   "Just out for a bit of fresh air. Do you think you could walk a bit when we get there?"
   "Take my sticks and zimmer."
   "It'll only take an hour or two." Under her breath special agent 'nurse Cheryl' added "Or two hundred or three hundred."

See some of the strange animals appearing at Nesstown Zoo and elsewhere
 all rights reserved - Evelyn Murray and Infinity Junction EM sometimes contributes to our NuGgets comment column

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