No Comma nt Headline Of The Month Name Dropping Swiss Chizz CEwildered - Ed My, My Talkback "Three Yobbos" and a Digger Blatant Consumption Two Faced Ebowildered - by our resident scientist, N.M.L.G. Calculus And Chance Blairbynomics Britain To Be Colder Than The Arctic? Piping In The Haggis
Ay? - NG2 The Art Of Camouflage And Surprise In Iran
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David CamEton said he wants to limit acess for immigrants to "benefits at a dinner in Brussels." (The comma was added later- ed.)
"Tax officials tell strippers to reveal incomes." (Guardian, 5th December 2015.) We've come across various names, but never heard those bits called incomes before.
You don't see many white Ferrari 458 Spyder super-cars round Infinity Junction's part of the world. So when our 'steemed editor found he'd parked very close to one in a shopping car park, he had to look. Number plate G11GGS... not much margin for doubt there. Maybe Ryan was buying some shops for Christmas.
"A parody of justice," so described Hervé Falciani the case against him, as, in absentia, he was jailed for five years for financial espionage. This is the man who exposed HSBC's private banking arm in Switzerland for money laundering and helping ultra-rich clients avade tax. HSBC was fined £28 million for its part. Falciani, you might say, should heve been branded a hero. But this is Switzerland where money is God and to point fingers is blasphemy. Fortunately for Falciani, he has joint nationality within the EU so neither country can, alone, extradite him. It looks as if neither France nor Italy want to anyway. Switzerland is not in the EU so cannot get EU law to jail him. The case stinks of rotten Swiss cheese.
The Curch of England are "bewildered" that cinemas consider their Christmas advert inappropriate. Those of us who actually know The Lords Prayer and have tried to make sense of its meaning in modern terms will know that it is an anachronism to say the very least. No wonder people, like me, have turned away from religion: as it stands it is out of touch, out of date and pretty irrelevant. However I do hope that the same treatment is applied to all other religions, cults, etc and that they too are banned. We're watching... so as to speak.
Burma, as was, enters a new era, we hope. Her of the complicated name, finally allowed to stand in elections after years of isolation by the army, swept up the vote with ease. Will Myanmar really return to the international fold and arise from decades of oppression and abject poverty? With quarter of all MPs from the military, we'll have to hold our breath and see.
TalkTalk internet have been in the news on and off for years, usually down to sloppy management and poor customer service. Most recently it was when a bunch of teenagers hacked bank account details of 157,000 customers and demanded a ransom. It seems they are still a long way from cutting edge: on the 10th of Nov this year Infinity Junction received a letter from them saying 'Hurry, 57% off fibre broadband, offer ends 5th Nov.' Sums it up, eh.
Door bell rings. 'Have you lost Power?' 'No, I'm working on the computer now.' 'Three yobbos working next door have just legged it up the road. They've cut our power cable.' A sad story of an unsafe house demolition two properties away from Infinity Junction; true. Apparently they shorted the input mains to the old house and blew a local transformer. Luckily for us at Infinity Junction, we're on an old cable with no transformer. An everyday story of country folk.
Follow-up to above, two weeks later- Same building site, inspector says they have to level the site before they start. Digger shifts earth from uphill side to downhill side. Site engineer arrives and realises that the new drive now goes downhill instead of flat as before, so will have water running down it, into the garage. The word Cowboy apppears to me.
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England's rate of tuberculosis infection has risen dramatically recently. In some areas of north London it is said to have reached 0.15%, a staggering figure if true; higher than Iraq or Rwanda where TB is 'endemic.' The single factor in those areas that has significantly changed is the ethnic mix due to immigration, both legal and illegal. Draw your own conclusions.
Now here's a conundrum- The UK, including the Labour party, supports continued holding of nuclear weapons. Labour leader Jeremy Corblimey has just been made vice president of the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament. Hmm.
The disturbing case of Pauline Cafferkey proves how little we really know about some diseases. Supposedly "cured" months ago, her life and future are in the balance again at the time of writing, with a recurrence of ebola. This is the first time a recurrence has been recorded. We did know the virus persists for up to 6 months in certain tissues, noteably sperm, but is was thought once you'd recovered, you were immune, although there was always a possiblity of passing it on for some time after recovery. (In one case a woman caught and died of ebola a whole 7 months after her sexual partner was "cured.") The question which nobody can answer at present is- how many other recurrences are there? It could be that people have died in West Africa and not been recognised as second time ebola victims. So what about other haemorrhagic fevers, Lassa and Marburg? We don't know. The chances of finding out, with most of West Africa having such weak medical services, poor organisation and corrupt officials, are pretty slim. Sad really.
Rate of change in Europe's rules and systems, which UK PM CamEton wants, has barely altered, despite his rhetoric at home. The Euro-establishment still resists most of the changes the UK wants. With CamEton promising an in-out EU referendum within the next year, it looks like he has failed so far, which means Britain is on the edge of leaving Europe. That will be economically disastrous. However a strange thing is happening, by pure fluke, Owner of Europe, Mrs Merely, may have helped the UK's cause. Her welcoming of Syrian refugees and dropping of usual refugee approval systems means parts of Europe, including Germany, are overwhelmed by Syrians and assorted other foreigners jumping on the bandwagon. So now it looks like change in movement rules and a limit on numbers might actually be necessary.
The general election earlier this year almost destroyed the labour party, Scotland in particular turning its back on Blairism. Complete lack of proper Socialism in Blair's policies finally made the working classes realise Labour didn't represent them any more. So in a monumental change in direction Blairism is out and Corbynomics is in. No doubt we'll see recent Labour establishment figures resigning and setting up their own doomed party or faction. The big question is, how far will the party swing back to the left? Jeremy Corbyn himself is notoriously left wing, but how many other senior Labour figures will work with Corbynomics? Well we don't know, so we'll have to wait and see. Whatever, Infinity Junction predicts a few fights within the party.
July 2015 was the hottest on record officially. Isn't it odd though when the world is hot, we in the UK are colder than usual. In fact, apart from the odd freak day down south, the whole spring and summer so far have been significantly colder than UK average. Several species of plant up here at Infinity Junction have either not flowered at all, or shown very few flowers. We've said it before, but it does seem that global warming means cooling where we are, at least in summer.
10,000 entries, only 132 top rated by judges; huge international food competition. World's best Haggis... any guesses? From Wales, a country of no haggis tradition. The Rabbie Burns Society will be stamping on their sporrans.
A conversation on TV last night caught attention: they were talking about robots and A.I. Now to someone who graduated with honours in animal physiology and nutrition, A.I. means Artificial Insemination, a method of getting female animals, both human and farm, pregnant without contact with the male of the species. So what has that got to do with robotics? Are we to see pregnant robots soon? That could be interesting.
BBC Newsnight subtitles- Iran's "Ninja" program. That must be a new way to make electricity... you can hear the generators- nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnja. (At least its not a nuclear bomb, yet. Ed.)
No Comma nt
Headline Of The Month
CEwildered - Ed
"Three Yobbos" and a Digger
Ebowildered - by our resident scientist, N.M.L.G.
Calculus And Chance
Britain To Be Colder Than The Arctic?
Piping In The Haggis
Ay? - NG2
The Art Of Camouflage And Surprise In Iran
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Euro, Euro, On The Fall, Who's The Fairest Of Them All? - by Owen Lotts
Well it certainly isn't the owner of Europe, Mrs Merely. Austerity cannot be the whole story, as Greece shows. You cut every budget in sight and the economy shrinks, making it more and more difficult to pay back those loans. Well done the citizens of Greece, you stood up to bullying and should be proud of yourselves. That unfortunately won't fix the economic pickle you're in. The world watches and waits. Capitalism on trial? Socialism ditto? Why not try pragmatism rather than dogmatism; compromise? Does Mrs Merely know what that means?
The Hottair - a review of the newly shown on free TV Jackson directed Hobbit film, by - Paddy Tout
I know Greta Garble usually does films, but she went to see some pseudy foreign film instead. So what did Paddy Tout think of it? First 15 minutes is lifted from The Lord of the Rings and is simply padding to make three films out of a one film book. There are so many story items in this first part of the trilogy that are not in the Tolkein novel. The White Orc is unnecessary added puff. Again padding and annoying. The wooden scaffolding inside the goblins' den is straight out of Indina Jones and not like the spartan stone tunnels in the original. There is so much unwanted rubbish in this version of The Hobbit that it detracts from what was originally a perfectly good adventure. Jackson's film should have been titled; The How to Bugger Up a Good Story. (In three parts.)
Recipe For Celebration
Recip Erdogan, that megalomaniac who wants to take Turkey back into history and abondon the secular and democratic government, lost his majority. Hooray, good for Turkey. To make it worse for him, the Kudish minority at last have representation in parliament; long overdue. Now Recip won't be able to make himself ruler and bring Islam into politics. The markets don't like it, the people of Turkey however have, in our view, saved themselves from a potential dictator.
A passenger flight was forced to land early due to 'a bee in an instrument.' Guess the airline... Flybe ! True.
Laughing In The Kitchen - E.M.
I sometimes have the radio on in the kitchen. For some reason the normal channel had been changed to BBC Radio 2. I didn't realise at first because classical music was playing when I turned it on. An Irish voice then said, "Mozart and Beethoven to start with. That's the best music you'll hear this evening." Ugh, Eurovision!
Ireland enters the twentieth century on one count, gay marriage. Now how about going the whole hog and coming into the twenty-first century by abandoning religious influence altogether? In particular, abortion and contraception.
Another New Word
BBC accidentally invented a new name last night when it called someone "You Forric." Suggestions as to what it might mean to: BBC subtitles, Brainless Street, Infinity Junction.
To Vote, Or Not To Vote - Ed. A useful idea was emailed to us at Infinity Junction, an application that asks a few questions, gets you to rank certain priorities in order, then it works out which political party most matches your views. It turned out that I'd been voting for the wrong party in the last few years! The problem is, the party it tells me I'd agree with most stands absolutely no chance round here. So do you vote as your gut tells you, or as the computer matches you? Since the party 98% certain to win in our constituency is neither of them, is it worth voting at all?
Dictionaries add words every so often, a couple of years back Selfie appeared for the first time. Now there's one that probabaly won't make it because it is likely to be short lived; Grexident. Greek exit (from eurozone) accident, are the words chopped and changed. (Speculation that Mrs Merely, owner of Europe, might be so dogmatic and inflexible that Greece will be forced to default on loans and hence bring back the drachma instead of the euro for currency.) It triggered ideas for other new words. Freconation- French economic stagnation. Isradeens- islamically radicalised teenagers. Riwictary- right wing reactionary. Pocoloony- political correctness stupidity. Cowop- comfortably well-off older person. Caffonec- can't afford a new car. And its corrolary Wofonec- won't waste money buying new. And with an election coming up we might say the media has gone Elfe- election feverish.
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Politobaurus - Stew the Oil
Spring Conference time is upon us, ugh. Labour and Lib Dem just happen to be at almost the same time this year, diluting what publicity could have been gained. But then Money Minder Osborne announces what will not be in his spring budget, just to steal even more limelight. I wish they'd grow up. Party politics is so petty. Try doing what the people appreciate rather than following dogma. Nah, they can't: they're politicians, not humans.
Torygraph Tactics - Ed.
Just a couple of days after the Daily Telegraph was exposed as hiding bad banking/big earners news to keep commercial advertising revenues up, they've come up with a ploy to deflect anger and change news headlines in other papers. A "sting" on two elder UK statesmen, Malcolm Rifind and Jack Straw, saw them talking openly about fees for political influence. Unfortunately this partly backfired when Tory backbenchers came out with statements like "but everybody does that," and "being an MP is only a part time job," showed up the arrogant and lazy attitudes of some Tories. As a "Conservative" newspaper, they should just shut up, because they do Conservatives no good. Personally I'm quite amused at them shooting themselves in the foot, but then I have little respect for party politics and even less for politicians.
Do I Buy An Electric Car, Hybrid, A Diesel, KERS, Or Stick With Petrol? - by Phil Herup
Petrol prices rise and fall. Electric and hybrid cars are popping up here and there. Arguments rage for and against diesel as a fuel. No wonder motorists are confused. So here are Infinity Junction's new motoring correspondent, Phil Herup's, top tips for buying. 1- Don't buy anything electric yet, unless you live in a city and get special concessions for electric. Electric cars are still very expensive, they don't go very far unless there's an internal combustion engine too. These will come down in new price, but not as fast as they lose second hand value. 2- Only buy new diesel if you are going to do a very high mileage before you sell it. Extra costs of diesel engines mean the fuel savings take many thousands of miles to pay off. There's the problem of nitrogen oxides and particulates contaminating the air too. 3- Hybrid cars rely on "manufacturers figures" to persuade people of the benefits. Many hybrid owners are reporting far fewer miles per gallon than they were expecting. Second hand values are poor too. Think hard and explore the alternatives to that dull old Prius. 4- If you stick with petrol, consider your driving style: are you a foot to the floor merchant? If you have to rev the socks off a little engine, you're probably burning as much, or more, fuel than someone who's driving, at lower revs, in comfort mode with a bigger engine. You are also going to wear it out it much faster, leading to unreliablity and, ironically, burning even more fuel. Second hand larger engined cars are often very good value for money. 5- I expect we'll see KERS cars soon, depending on cost they might be worth a look, because they use a conventional engine, but also an energy recovery system whenever you brake. With a relatively small battery and electric motor, this can reduce your fuel consumption a lot*, without making the car feel any slower. *Every time you put your foot on the accelerator, electric reserves are used first, before burning extra fuel. (That's sensible; you're sacked! Ed.)
Decline Of The Herring Revealed
Important new research by Chinese scientists reveals that penguins can only taste salty and sour. Now we know why they are so fond of pickled herring.
Bishops in England have called for a return to "morals" by politicians. Return? They've never been there.
Nile Nosh - by Greta Garble, Infinity Junction's media and film correspondent.
"Egyptian food is the oldest in the world;" trailer for Hairy Bikers TV. You mean dried up and mouldy? Being pedantic, that's not true. If one accepts that Lucy is the oldest known humanoid, then it follows that the oldest food to be recognised as human comes from Uganda. (Get on your bike! - Ed.)
Predictably grumbling rumbling has come from old school eurocrats about Greece's new left wing government. Owner of Europe Mrs Merely doesn't like anyonone to upset her dogmatic plans to keep Germany at the top of the euro-league rich list. Some bolshie revolting peasants way south of her is an irritation she will resist. Now if Germany was under the cosh as Greece has been recently, it would have been different, oh yes. It remains to be seen how much effect the new Greek government will actually have. Do not hold your breath: as long as Merely owns Europe, nothing in that line will go far nor happen fast.
"The greatest challenge we face is the fight against tourism." (subtitles, of course)
"Rapid unscheduled disassembly" is a new jargon term to Infinity Junction. Wouldn't it be a lot simpler to say crash? Source: SpaceX.
"All he needs is a good wash and teaching some manners!" Teenage tearaway? Street urchin? Unemployed youth? No, it was said about a young breeding bull. (BBC Countryfile.)
Scourge Of North Wales - data from 2014
Figures released by Britain's most anti-motorist police, the small North Wales force, reveal that they tested 13,000, (yes that's thirteen THOUSAND,) motorists for alcohol over the Christmas period. Only 60 proved positive. The words Wasted and Resources come to mind.
How Robots Age
Nasa is to "hack" its own robot Mars Rover because it has an "age related memory problem." It's only ten years old and already has Alzheimers!
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|That's all so far|