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APOLOGIES- during the period immediately below an old motherboard which runs Infinity Junction's website updates failed, hence rather a few comments for the last third of 2018. It took some time to hunt down a replacement for this 23 year old RiscOS board.
For the sake of a historical note, the summer of 2018 was very hot, the lawn at Infinity junction HQ went pale brown and crisp. There were fires across Europe and people died of heatstroke. The autumn was dogged by political argument here which rumbled ever more brainlessly right the way through 2019. The cause of debate, and the subsequent political warfare was Brexit and what some trouble did it stir! (See graphic above.) For that you need to jump to the next Blogjob page.
Surrey Ripper
The Croydon, or Guildford, or M25 Cat Killer has at last been identified. Mutilated bodies of dozens of pet cats have been found in that general area. Rumours of a vicious human taking pleasure in diembowelling cats for some ritualistic purpose abounded for months. Was it the Ku Kats Klan, a coven of witches, blood drinking vampires? Actually it was foxes... what a let-down.
First Class
BoJo, that buffoon right-winger ex UK minister and ex mayor, actually made us laugh- he called women in Burkas "letterboxes." We thought it was an unusually funny "post" for BoJo, but of course all the pocaloony (politically correct lunatic) reactionaries howled in protest. Some people need to learn what jokes are.
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Writers Of The Storm
Tour de France subtitles- "a quartet of writers first over the line of the intermediate sprint." Even authors exercise sometimes, it seems.
Cry Wolf
Countryfile discussing new sources of plant protein- "Lupines" could replace soya. (Subtitles of course.)
Working Dump
President Dump is to make a "working visit" to England and Scotland next week. There'll be massive protests and police are asking other forces for help. What's he doing in Scotland? Well our guess is to see whether his bullying tactics, (using police to block access, planting trees outside private fences, etc,) has persuaded those locals living in "hovels" to move away from his loss-making golf course.
Apply Here
A hand-made placard shown by US women protesting at the splitting up of immigrant children from their parents read: "Free Babies," is there a surplus then?
Eclectic Electric
TV program about suffragette success- Nancy Astor becomes the first woman MP, she had an "electric personality." How many volts? was she AC or DC?
Muted
So Dump and Bang Bong have met. From our media on the other side of the globe, the reaction has been decidedly muted. This could end up being rather boring... switch channels now.
Emental Health?
From TV- emergency telephone response to agitated caller: "Do you have any mental health problems?" Caller answers: "I'm a vegetarian."
Enter The Twentieth Century
With a predicted 70% vote in favour of Ireland leaving the 19th century Catholic dominated era and allowing some abortions, at last, life will be fairer in Eire. It still hasn't reached the twenty-first century because the criteria allowing abortion are very strict. Wake up Catholic faith; the so called pro-life lobby, mostly religious fandamentalists, are actually pro-death.
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Dump Bang Bong
It was predictable with such unpredictable characters, wasn't it. President Dump cancelling his meeting with Kim Bang Bong after an outburst of pique over de-nuclearisation. The trouble is Bang Bong really does think ha can threaten America into letting NK onto the top table. It won't happen. Now NK has "blown up" its nuclear test site. The explosions shown on TV were utterly pathetic. We've seen more spectacular car crashes. The damage could be cleared by a mechanical digger in a day or two. Not only that, but UK news reported those same tunnels damaged by collapses and landslides several weeks before, so what's that supposed to prove?
Strewth!
It's truth, you can lose £340 million just like that! Wesfarmers, Australian DIY chain owners, bought 250 store DIY chain Homebase, trying to inject some ozzie pizazz into the sluggish UK brand. This week they sold the whole lot for just £1. How many times have we seen UK companies getting stung like this in other countries? More than we should. Do your homework!
Crown Persecution
After the crappy UK Parole Board was given a kick up the arse, (see below,) the equally notorious Crown Prosecution Service is in line for kicking too. Several high profile cases, notably three rape trials, fell apart because of their idiocy. Whether these falings were attempted deviousness or merely incompetence is not clear. What is clear is that both staff and systems are ineffective in many cases. Clear 'em out, make them do a proper job for a living.
Parole Parsimony 5
At last those idiots on the Parole Board have been shown up for the prats that they are. (See previous NuGgets columns in BlogJob.) Finally the High Court has over-ruled them for the very first time and stopped a dangerous man being released by these self-righteous, "do-gooding" i.e. head-in-the-sand morons. Parole Board head has resigned; good. Now let's see the rest of them go and some common sense people replace them.
Carm-off-it- Evelyn Murray, Infinity Junction's opera and booze correspondent
Carmen, the flibbertygibbert gypsy girl sung by a Valkyrie voice? Royal Opera House's production broadcast last Sarturday was awful, slow, contrived and badly miscast. What should have had lively, feisty singing, turned into a derge because the voice just was wrong. Next we'll have The Queen of the Night sung by Cliff Richard. Must do better ROH.
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Scalpel... Forceps... Igniter... Dictionary...
"You don't have to be a rocket surgeon to work that one out." Pyon Snow commentary, BBC TV.
What's The Question Being Answered Here?
"The difference between them is backside air and frontside four-forty."
(No not a medical conundrum, nor even a rude event at a bus stop; Pyon Snow Olympic commentary.)
Wet Winter Blues
Scene- Nesstown, north England, February, cold, windy and very wet- "I hate these wet winter days!" "We'll go the Cape Town then."
(3 years of total drought- Ed.)
Un-lympics
The usual ballyhoo is underway in Pyon Snow, or wherever, made all the more bally by a "show of unity" between N and S K. The word "Show" is key here because the amount of real unity between Kim Bang Bong and the South is still very much in question. As soon as the unlympics is over there'll be another rocket test.
Culture and Bitcoin
The Japanese have never been renowned for their logic, just use some TV remote control systems to see that. It seems their culture is "do what you're told," rather than "work it out." Well another oddity of Japanese logic is showing the strain of its lack of logical basis- the Bitcoin. Up and down, no real value, just some fantasy and hype. Now most UK banks are banning its buying with their credit cards and say they'll never accept it. That should have happened some time ago, but nobody expected this fairy money to last. Pooff!
What A Dump.
We in the UK moan about our government and "first past the post" electoral system that allows relatively unhindered minority rule. USA is worse, as proven by Dump's Republicans, unable to govern because the Democrats don't like his policies. A domestic budget that can be vetoed by a minority is pretty crazy. Okay, admitted most of the world thinks Dump is a twat, but does that excuse locking thousands of people out of their jobs without pay? Politics USA is a cripple.
(Here we are a month later- the same thing happens. Doh.)
What Did I Come In Here For?
Many people experience that, but today it's revealed that Christmas is the time to discover Altzheimer's disease. Apparently one of the commonest errors is to forget to turn the oven on for the festive dinner.
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